Christmas Elf on the Shelf is moving! Hide your kids, hide your wife!

Once a year (since 2005), Elf on the Shelf undergoes a magical transformation. The Elf starts as a worthless lump of plastic, then when Christmas approaches, he magically transforms into a desirable holiday gimmick worth $29.95 on Amazon. Like all plastic toys made in China, the Elf brings no joy to the little boys and girls who assemble him for slave wages, because they don’t have Christmas. ...